Small Changes

Today I am linking up with On Your Heart Tuesdays hosted by Shanda Oakley.

I want to live a life that is full of joy - and free from chains of bondage.  I want to experience the fullness of a life that is empowered by God to share His love and His grace in a world that so desperately needs it.  And even though that is what I want, I find that that is not what I am currently experiencing.  What I am experiencing is a mundane, boring life of chores and routine.  So a few days ago I made a conscience effort - a decision, to find joy again.  I found a devotional on my Bible AP that encourages me to read, pray, and reflect on selected scriptures daily for 21 days and to listen - really listen to God.  During this time, I am also asked to fast from something.  At first, I wasn't sure what I could possibly fast from - as I thought I didn't have anything in my life to give up.  Cooking?  No, I have a family to feed.  Exercise?  No, I gave that up months ago.  Work? No, for obvious reasons...the only thing that came to mind was TV.

Really?  TV? No TV for 21 days?  But I don't actually watch TV, I argued with myself.   I just have it on.  I turn it on in the morning while I am doing my make-up and getting dressed.  It's on while I am washing dishes or folding laundry.  It's on while I am cooking dinner, eating a snack...it is just always on.  It is a companion of conversation throughout my day.  So I thought, OK, that's legit.  But it won't be a difficult sacrifice...

I can't even begin to tell you how many times I have absent mindedly reached for the remote...how I actually missed the chatter this morning while getting ready for work.  I am both shocked - and embarrassed to discover that it really has been integrated into my existence...and I am glad to be able to unplug myself from it!

Two days into the 21 day journey and I was slightly amused to listen to my pastor open his sermon talking about how many of us feel like we are living mundane, boring lives of chores and routine and we are missing out on joy.  It was exactly what I needed to hear!  Although he shared several helpful ideas what resonated most with me were the ideas of making little changes - small changes that over time add up to big changes, and that when we don't follow through with our little change, to leave it with God, 'forget' about it and keep moving forward. 

"Brethren, I do not  regard  myself as having laid hold of it yet; but one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus " - Philippians 3:13-14 NASB

Three days in and I had accomplished all of my core goals for the day -  even though I had to get up at 4:30 this morning to make it happen. I completed the Bible reading for the day, I prayed, I 'listened' and reflected on the scripture.  Feeling confident, I decided to set another goal for the day - a small, little change that I hoped would move me in a forward direction and I determined that today, I would eat only food that is good for my body.  Breakfast - check.  Mid morning snack - check.  Lunch - oops...  But instead of berating myself and giving up on my 'little' changes, I am encouraging myself with the scriptures I read this morning and the verses posted above - and instead of quitting it all, sitting down and watching TV (Doctor Who, none the less) with my family, I am continuing with my TV fast, continuing with my small changes and celebrating the victories I did accomplished today. 

It wasn't a perfect day - but tomorrow will be day 4, and I am still pressing on.