B is for Boring

Boring. I lead a boring life. It is full of routine, predictability, and structure. I am boring. I am not traipsing across the globe, climbing mountains or living in India caring for the poor. I am a school teacher. I am a wife. I am a mother. I am boring. I get up. I go to work. I come home. I do laundry. I make dinner. I clean the kitchen. (OK – so I don’t clean the kitchen very often, but, you get the point). I am a boring person living a boring life doing boring things. And when I allow my brain to focus on the boring, dull life that I lead, I become depressed. I start to think that I am a waste of a life. I start to believe that I am a failure. I begin to judge my life as it compares to those that I deem are more interesting and I come up short. I come up dull. I come up worthless. And I become more discouraged. And as I dwell on what I do not have, what I do not do, what I do not possess, I become static – motionless, and the things that I once did, the boring, mundane, predictable chores of my life do not get done because they become pointless. And now, I am not only boring, I am depressed and useless and lying in bed with the covers over my eyes wishing my life away. A boring life is a destructive life.

And yet, this same life, viewed through bold eyes, becomes brilliant – dazzling – powerful.

I am a teacher – I am one who guides children and inspires them to reach for the heavens. I empower them to see there is more in life than Facebook and American Idol. I challenge them to look beyond the four walls of their existence and see the world around them as a source of adventure, a place for compassion and vision. Or, I focus on me and the career I thought I deserved and fill them with fear and self-doubt about their chances in this life. I tell them their work is not good enough and that they will amount to nothing. I am a teacher – I hold their life in my hands.

I am a wife. I have the power to strengthen and make secure the man I vowed to love. I have the opportunity every day to pour over him God’s love and His grace. I have the ability to create a place for him where he can shed the worries and concerns of his world so that he is empowered and inspired to brilliantly face the challenges of his job. He can go out and confidently conquer the stresses and strains of the chaos of his world, knowing he has a place of refuge and safety in our home. Or, I focus on what I do not have and create a home of tension and conflict focused on me and what I think I deserve. I can whine and complain and nag and sulk until I break his resolve and strip him of everything good in his heart. I am a wife – I hold my husband's life in my hands.

I am a mother. I pour out knowledge and wisdom and love into minds that are shaping and growing and learning. I pour into them confidence, self-respect, self-control, compassion for others, and a love for God that consumes their thoughts and guides their choices. Or I focus on what I did not accomplish and what I did not get and I teach them that they disappoint, mess up, and are worth less than me – less than anyone. I am a mother – I hold my children’s life in my hands.

Boring – only makes it about me. Boring – only brings depression and doubt and destruction. But when I make my brain wrap around others, when I bind myself to caring for others– my life becomes challenging, exciting, and thrilling. Boring keeps my brain dull and my life a mess. Focusing on how I can serve others, keeps me alive and renewed. It gives me a satisfying sense of self-worth and confidence. It makes routines become the framework from which I lay a strong foundation of security and stability. It makes predictability become a sense of permanence from which people know they can count on me to be there – to be their stable force in a chaotic and out of control world. And the structure of my life becomes the outline that gives shape to other's lives.

I may never feed the homeless in India – but I may strengthen the one who does. And that is not boring.