W is for Wishing

When I was a little girl my grandmother would send me a birthday card every year that told me I could make three wishes for my birthday, and she always promised to make at least one of them come true.  Although I truly only remember my annual wish, I do have vague recollections of my mother being mortified by the outlandishness of some of my other wishes.  But my annual wish, that I have not forgotten.  The annual wish - Disneyland.  Every year my grandmother, my mom and I would pack the car and drive two hours to go to Disneyland - the happiest place on earth.  We would go on all of the rides I was tall enough to go on - until we ran out of "E" tickets, and then we had to ride the 'other' rides.  Sometimes we would spend the night and go the next day too.  One time, she even let us stay at the Disney Grand Hotel.  I loved my birthday wishes and I loved that I had a grandmother who was willing to make my wishes come true.  Even when they were extravagant wishes that embarrassed my mother, like wishing I could go to England and walah!  I went.

At some point I outgrew my birthday wishes - but I never outgrew wishing for things.  As a teenager my wishes went something like this: "I wish I could have a car for my birthday." Or,  "I wish that boy would like me."  Or "I wish I hadn't said that...done that...eaten that..."  And even now, I still have wishes - "I wish I had our house paid off," or "I wish summer were here," or "I wish I could go to Europe."  We all have wishes, hopes, desires, no matter what our age.  But one of the problem with wishes, is that we often treat them as if we have no power - no ability to make the wishes happen.  We stay childlike and wait around for someone else to come and grant them.  Someone like God.

And when He doesn't grant our wishes, we can become angry, resentful, hurt, bitter.  The truth is that many wishes we do have the power to make happen.  I can stop eating the bag of chips.  I can rearrange my financial priorities and save for the trip to Europe.  It might take a long time to save enough money.  A really really long time, but there are things that I can make happen, but I don't.  I buy things I don't need, eat out when I don't feel like cooking and then, I get mad at God because He isn't giving me my wish for  _______ (fill in the blank). 

But there's another problem with wishes too.  Sometimes we truly can't make them happen.  Sometimes we are powerless to make them happen and God is the only one who can make our wishes come true.  Wishes like, "I wish my parents wouldn't get divorced." Or, "I wish my child wasn't so sick."  Or, "I wish he would stop drinking."  And sometimes God doesn't make our wishes come true, no matter how much we beg and plead.  No matter how selfless and good the wish seems, sometimes God doesn't grant it for us.  Sometimes parents do divorce, children stay sick, and sometimes, people never stop drinking, even though it causes others to hurt.  And when God doesn't magically grant the wish we desire, we have a choice to make.  We can choose to become angry and bitter - or we can choose to give Him not just our wish, but the outcome of our wish too.  We can choose to trust Him that no matter whether we get our wish or not, He can use it to bring glory to Him and blessing to us.  That is not an easy thing to do all the time, but when I do trust Him, He does bring beauty out of it - no matter how 'it' turns out.  And even if I don't get to see it.

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28