This was absolutely the last time that she was going to procrastinate. She couldn't do it any more - let things build up and pile up until she felt like the weight of everything could crush her. 12:15 AM and the house was still a mess, the dishes from dinner still strewn all over the counters and the alarm set to go off at 5:00 AM tomorrow - no, not tomorrow, later today!
"AHHHHHH" she screamed inside her head chastising herself. “I cannot keep this pace up! I know better than to put things off like this. Especially important things." And yet, as she thought about it, it wasn't that she had been lazy, or idle. She had made plans, good plans to finish everything, but she was interrupted. Something came up. Something always came up. She had to drop this to care for that. Put off doing this so she could do that. Take care of her - take care of him, this one that one, and now, there was no more time. So much to do and no time.
She wondered how others did it. How did they take care of everything and everyone without going crazy? She was losing sleep, forgetting things, running out of time, out of patience, out of desire. With so much before her on her to do list she could not even bring herself to a point of desire - a point of urgency to do the things - any of the things on her list. It was no use, something had to give...but what? What in her life was unnecessary? The children? Definitely not. The clean house? She smiled - she gave that up a long time ago. The job? No, she'd been doing it for years - she could handle that. Then what? What in her life could she possibly let go of to make her days more manageable?
“I know” she thought. That's it! That's what I can give up that will give me back my life. That's what I can do that will free me to do my tasks! I'll stop blogging!” She smiled - laughed out loud from relief! “Yes, yes, YES that's it! I'm free!” Relieved, she moved to her comfy bed anticipating sweet mindless dreams and a day of accomplishment ahead.
But she was wrong. Give up blogging? Blogging had become her lifeline - her link to sanity, to her emotions, and to her thoughts. It's what allowed her to bring clarity to the chaos of thoughts running around in her head. Blogging gave her the ability to make sense out of the wonderings - the wanderings and the musings in her mind. Give up blogging? She might as well give up breathing. Give up blogging? No, she couldn’t stop doing that. She was wrong.
9 comments:
haha...so understand! I couldnt' wait for the challenge to be over. I am not blogging every day but can't give it up either. I did clean my house though after I posted Z!
GENIUS take on the prompt!
On a side note, as a procrastinator -ahem- I get this! :)
I.SO.get.this.
....and now I should probably go do something about the dishes in my sink (since it is 2am!).
love it! Way to go! This was a hard challenge for me...not the "right time" to be blogging with the wedding coming up! But, how can I not blog with the wedding coming up! -- So, I totally relate to your story! :) Good job!
Yes, I have to intentionally take blogfasts because, even now as I sit in the other room my son is watching morning cartoons, I get distracted and I lose moments. I feel like God has entrusted me with this outlet and I need to tread lightly and use it wisely.
I go through seasons though where I can't write, like now, and seasons where I cannot stop.
I really felt the frustration of spinning out of control in the beginning.
lol NEVER!! I enjoyed this today.
I relate to this post because I am a for real procrastinator. i have spent many hours pondering what to get rid of in order to get everything done. Guess what? I just can't get it all done and I'm okay with that.
You must be reading my mind. I think guiltily about the hours I spend almost daily on blogging and sometimes I'm tempted to give it up. But like you, it has become central to my connection. Excellent.
Post a Comment